The Mating Games of Adult Men
Let’s consider a situation, which to our regret, is quite typical. A girl meets a man at the dating site and they strike up a correspondence. Their relationships seem to be going in the best way possible. There are lots of mutual complements, tender words and promises of prompt meeting. Elated with such a successful acquaintance, the girl forgets about the other men and starts thinking over the details of her future wedding dress. However, as soon as the time of the appointment comes, the man suddenly faces a lot of emergent problems. It may be one of his relatives who gets seriously ill, some other pressing business or financial difficulties. The meeting gets postponed. They go on exchanging sentimental messages with new promises. But such a situation can last for years.
It is obvious that suchlike relationships will lead nowhere. The man appreciates the process rather than the result. Why? What for do adult well-educated men, who seem rather smart, play all these games? Why do they cheat gullible girls?
In fact, first of all they cheat themselves. A man who plays games like that sincerely believes that he wants to create a family. But this is a very important and complicated step. Moreover, the older you grow, the harder it is for you to change your habits and customary life-style. That is the reason for all these hidden fears and unconscious desire to leave it as it is. The games we are talking about emerge on the edge of these contradictory aspirations.
What are the profits of the man in such a situation? What for would he spend his time on virtual love and cheat himself and the others? Actually, his profit is obvious. He gets the feeling of being important and needed and gains an illusion that he could change his life. He has no real intention to change anything, but the existence of possibility to create a family protects him from feeling lonely and inferior.
What should you do to avoid these admirers of virtual love who are, unfortunately, so numerous in the Internet? First of all, you should not stop with the one and only man whatever sweet letters he might send you. Until you meet him personally and discuss all the details, you have no liabilities for him. He is just a chance among the others and you’d better to have several of them.
The other way to distinguish such a “play-boy” is to examine the course of your relationships development. Suchlike men are very hasty to establish close and deeply personal contact by correspondence and immediately suggest the meeting. It may seem that such a rapid development implies quick result, but it soon gets stuck at a particular stage. If these relationships do not get any progress in the course of the next few months, they are futureless.
By the way, these games are played not only by the men, but the girls as well. There are some women who also regard the process more important than the result. Their motives are about the same. But the girls can go relatively further in such a game. As long as the first meetings are usually arranged by the men, who visit their place, the girls willingly agree for them. But as soon as the things come to move to the foreign country, the girl suddenly realizes that she has a child who has to go to school and it will be very hard for him or her to get used to the crucially different process of education, or there is a sick mother who can be neither left alone nor taken abroad.
But the most exciting game takes place when there are both the man and the girl who admire it. This game may last ever so long giving each one of the players its particular benefits. In such a manner, there is formed an original membership club.
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